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The Nature Report


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#741 Boomer part Second

Posted 08 June 2012 - 08:48 PM

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From the dumb criminals file:

We do not make light of the death of any individual, but this story must still appear here...
Yes, even praising the Almighty isn't an excuse
Cook meth, live better. Walmart.
Wow, that has to be the most original defense I've ever heard...you're free to go!
Facebook strikes again!
The great granola and gatorade fight

Animal weirdness

Yet another reason why cats are jerks: they like soda
That's no dog; it's a crime
Drunken deer? Believe it.

D'oh!

A syrup spill near Buttermilk Pike? Pancake time!
A shocking proposal
Congratulations, you barely got saved from the dumb cops file

Yum!

Baby cakes

You be the judge...

Wacky license plates: fun with words or just plain obscene?

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Think that tennis net is harmless? Think again.

#742 Boomer part Second

Posted 12 June 2012 - 09:43 PM

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Week in review CLVI

Be on the lookout for Odd Box at the US Open this weekend!
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

Food fight!
Wasabi jeans attack!
Dude accused in nude lewd interlude

Animal weirdness

I think I know why they named it 50 Cent...
The bionic puppy

Yum!

Wait, what kind of contest is this again?

Today's world record:

Longest marathon playing a board game

And finally...

Amateur crocodile handling? Sign me up!
That had to be one hell of a spider...

#743 Boomer part Second

Posted 15 June 2012 - 08:23 PM

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From the dumb criminals file:

Catching him with his pants down
What does it take to get the right phone number?
Facebook: taking down idiots since 2004
Stealing from the police department? Brilliant!

Animal weirdness

Need an extra bobcat?
Croc vs. Croc
Do you have wombats in your drain pipe?

D'oh!

Paging Dr. Nick Riviera...
What, you're saying it's bad to build on unstable land?

Yum!

He still should have been busted for abusing 911...
While eating squid, it's dinner AND a date

News of the "I'll be damned!"

"Bubble Man" seeks to spread awareness and save his children from genetic disease

Today's world record:

Highest-elevation roller coaster (not to be confused with "tallest roller coaster")

And finally...

Show us your haboobs!

#744 Boomer part Second

Posted 18 June 2012 - 08:24 PM

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Tiger talk

On the lighter side, tigers can't be herded by dogs, can they?

Week in review CLVII

Odd Box would like to wish you a happy Waterloo Day! (United Kingdom)
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

Sausage attack!
The great dog bustout caper
Kitten and a strip club? Yeah, this ought to be good...

From the dumb cops file:

Ooh, Japan has an entry today?

Animal weirdness

Because surfing dogs, that's why
Gator! Gator! Gator!

PETA's at it again...

It's been a while since we've had this category; welcome back!

D'oh!

You are getting sleepy. You will stay sleepy...
Necessity is the mother of island fires

Yum!

All I got from this was: DON'T DRINK TEA

Space: it's really big

Voyager just keeps on voyaging

Today's world record:

Most expensive moisturizer

And finally...

Why don't we have television like this?
Just how fat are we? Here are some numbers...billions and tons are included

#745 Boomer part Second

Posted 19 June 2012 - 10:25 PM

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From the dumb criminals file:

So you're saying he's not a fan of My Little Pony?
The Great Chicken Wing Caper has been cracked
Have you seen this idiot?
This is how we do it in Oklahoma, fool

Animal weirdness

And the naughtiest dog in the nation is...
Welcome to the world, Makar!
Guess what? Bears like cat food!
Dolphins act as taxis for ocotpi now?

D'oh!

Wait, that's not a mushroom. It's...something else...

News of the "I'll be damned!"

I dare you to take a spear to the head and survive
Update: "Bubble Man" diagnosed

And finally...

Please unlearn everything you've learned about physics. Thank you.

#746 Boomer part Second

Posted 20 June 2012 - 08:06 PM

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From the dumb criminals file:

Would you like some jail with that wine?
Watch out, those leprechauns can be a mean bunch

Animal weirdness

Moose at Hooters...no it wasn't a wall decoration
These turtles knew how to live and die

D'oh!

What happens when a principal loses a bet

And thus ends a slow news day...

#747 Boomer part Second

Posted 21 June 2012 - 08:48 PM

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From the dumb criminals file:

There's never a bad time for eating ice cream! (courtesy of Special Reporter Bullet)
A naked swimmer? I'm sensing a theme here...
How many penalty strokes is driving into a sand trap?
No dumb deed goes unpunished
Nude lewd sunbather? The theme continues!
Taking a swim in a fountain; yes, the theme still continues here
Don't read The Onion; it's pornography
No nudity here, but it is Florida...

From the dumb cops file:

Writing too many tickets? Since when is that against the rules?

Animal weirdness

What you need to know about ancient wombats
Perhaps there's a reason why they were about to go extinct?

D'oh!

I can think of easier ways to exercise...
Man shoots himself with his Glock. In his...well, it rhymes

And finally...

Welcome to Tatooine...er, Tunisia
That's one heck of a loophole, alright...

#748 Boomer part Second

Posted 02 July 2012 - 06:57 PM

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Tiger talk

I would rather that the zoo threw people into the enclosure, but I guess this works too

Week in review CLVIII

Odd Box would like to wish you a happy Independence Day (United States) when it rolls around!
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

Next time you have some bad gas to release, think again (submitted by...guess who? Bullet, of course!)
There couldn't have been much water left after he jumped in...
DWM: driving while manscaping
Covering his bases in case of a peanut allergy?
Dumb side of the moon
If you want something done right, hold the repairman at gunpoint
I never saw Apu hit somebody in the head...

Animal weirdness

The great seagull hunt (also, there was a terribly typo in the article at the time I posted it; see if you can find it!)
Eagle to fisherman: Yoink!
Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Lizard

You be the judge...

Removing a town's soil to get rid of arsenic: public safety or overkill?

Today's world records:

Smallest fly
Largest crocodile in captivity

And finally...

Hey, it's okay to pass gas again!
The Japanese tour guide for Scotland

#749 Boomer part Second

Posted 03 July 2012 - 08:29 PM

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Independence Day preview

Man with seven fingers still loves fireworks
"I can't take responsibility for stupidityness"

From the dumb criminals file:

Maybe he was trying out for the Olympics?
We all scream for stupidity
Food fight!
Nice mohawk, brah
Watch out for the stick shift

From the dumb cops file:

Watch your language, sheriff!

Animal weirdness

My little seeing-eye pony: guidance is magic
We can't repel cuteness of that magnitude!

D'oh!

The forklift was no match for the sidewalk
The case against plastic mailboxes
This is why car dealerships shouldn't be in high-rise buildings
I pushed the wrong button? Oh frack...

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Woman has 51-pound tumor removed

And finally...

Are you sure that's a sausage?
The US beer report...where does your state land?

#750 Boomer part Second

Posted 16 July 2012 - 08:54 PM

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Tiger talk

I approve of this and all other rebellious actions performed by circus tigers

Week in review CLIX

Merry Christmas in July! (Grand Empire of Odd Box)
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

Isn't being in the bottom of a port-a-potty enough punishment? (provided by reporter Projectile Fired From Gun)
Isn't shooting yourself in the junk enough punishment?
Isn't getting impaled enough punishment?
How to defeat robbers with a cooking pot
And in today's edition of Facebooked...
Attacking a horse in Omaha...isn't that a hanging crime?
Sure, you can search my purse...no, wait!
Why you don't joke about bombs at airports

Animal weirdness

Puppycam with a purpose
Yet another reason why cats are jerks: they can be mayor

D'oh!

Lawn care, Homer Simpson style
What does water damage do to the value of a brand-new BMW?

Yum!

There's still time to celebrate National Ice Cream Day!

News of the "I'll be damned!"

A look at the biggest drought in the US since 1956
And while people are suffering from drought, there's these people...

Today's world record:

Most human mattress dominoes

And finally...

Want green grass? Just add paint!
What does the busting of the lying eyes myth do for the song?

#751 Boomer part Second

Posted 30 July 2012 - 08:00 PM

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Know your Olympic medal count!

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full standings: Everybody who's won any medal...it's all right here!

Week in review CLX

Odd Box hopes you're glued to the Olympics...
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

There are easier ways into jail, you know...
You can't arrest him; he's the king of China!
Did he get to keep his job?
Mugshot roundup

Animal weirdness

Socks are recommended in a dog's diet?
Some such thing about panda babies...
Meet Caddy the wombat

Space: it's really big

The colors don't run, not even on the moon

You've been sitting on the couch while this guy...

Created the great bomb database

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Man shot to death over a beer

Today's world records:

Largest ukulele ensemble
Largest falafel

And finally...

Isn't a firecracker in the buttocks punishment enough?
I have a boat I'd like to sell you...

#752 Boomer part Second

Posted 31 July 2012 - 08:19 PM

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Know your Olympic medal count!

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*Italy (2/4/2) and Russia (2/2/4) also have eight medals
full standings: Everybody who's won any medal...it's all right here!

From the dumb criminals file:

Because I always get mistaken for a bank robber while I'm eating cheese
You win again, gravity!
Good: he went to church on Sunday. Bad: because...
More Florida for ya...
Please ignore the evidence in plain sight
Uhhh...April Fools' Day?

Animal weirdness

The bear facts about horseplay
Yet another reason why cats are jerks: they hitchhike
Who's up for a fish story?
You'd better watch out for that Seal Flu

Yum!

Behold the deep fried mashed potato cube!

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Watch out for that tree!

Today's world record:

Largest cupcake mosaic

And finally...

The fastest stacker in the country
Now that's my kind of freedom!

#753 Boomer part Second

Posted 01 August 2012 - 08:58 PM

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Know your Olympic medal count!

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full standings: Everybody who's won any medal...it's all right here!
Olympic stuff: Of medals and taxes

From the dumb criminals file:

Eluding the police...in a smart car?
You say "no", I say "wee".
Sexytime in Walmart, you say?
Dude, just go to jail...
Even more Florida for ya

Animal weirdness

Happy birthday...it's a zebra!
Behold the corgi-cam!
Watch out for Buttermilk Sky...

D'oh!

Wait, campers aren't amphibious?
Dang, why didn't we order the drain that can handle 28 basketballs?

You be the judge...

Swedish hot dog ad: too suggestive or normal Swedish hijinks?

And finally...

The 11th commandment: thou shalt fight in church
Wasps < Flamethrower

#754 Boomer part Second

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:22 PM

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Know your Olympic medal count!

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full standings: Everybody who's won any medal...it's all right here!

From the dumb criminals file:

Maybe the police didn't get the memo about the demolition derby?
This honey isn't so sweet
Wait, Pringles are dangerous weapons now?
The daily double
DUI...on a raft?

D'oh!

Strike one, you're out!

Today's world record:

Fastest land mammal (yes, it's a cheetah, but which one?)

#755 Boomer part Second

Posted 03 August 2012 - 10:07 PM

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Know your Olympic medal count!

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full standings: Everybody who's won any medal...it's all right here!
Olympic stuff: Regarding those taxes...

From the dumb criminals file:

I think his hair is the real crime...
Protip: do not attempt to carjack the vehicle with 3 cops inside
And in this edition of Facebooked...
Uhhhh...Florida?

Animal weirdness

They ain't lion!
Bear in a whirlpool? Sure, why not...

D'oh!

You can also increase your vocabulary while reading this!

News of the "I'll be damned!"

These are the things you don't think about while on water park slides

And finally...

How to be comfortable and/or anti-social while traveling
Reasons why you want to be comfortable and/or anti-social while traveling

#756 Boomer part Second

Posted 13 August 2012 - 09:30 PM

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Know your (final) Olympic medal count!

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United States: winner of the "Gold Standard" and "Sum of All Bling" awards

full standings: Everybody who's won any medal...it's all right here!

If we're still alive and kicking, we'll see you in Sochi for the 2014 Winter Olympics...

Week in review CLXI

Did you see the flag carrier for Odd Box Nation at the closing ceremony?
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

When you're a crook, electricity is not your friend
Baby powder battery
I don't think I'd declare I was carrying deer bits either...
The great mugshot roundup
What a Croc

From the dumb cops file:

Thinking with your gun again, eh?

Animal weirdness

What you need to know about Nazi raccoons
We go from the Olympics to sheep racing?

D'oh!

And now for my next trick...a truck on a boat!
Some Olympic-sized criticism heaped on NBC...

And finally...

The King of Poop

#757 Boomer part Second

Posted 10 October 2018 - 10:55 PM

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Having recently completed a multi-year journey through the underworld back to the land of the living, I bring you this one tale of Florida Man (admittedly a tame one, given that it's Florida Man)

 

This weighty subject is bearly...erm, barely worth a pun

 

Also, greetings to ye who are bored enough to see what the hell is going on here. Savor it, because it's probably the last one of these. Officially, of course. Maybe I'll pull a Cher and go on 37 retirement tours.


  • dodgem, Rubulator and Highway Man like this

#758 Highway Man

Posted 11 October 2018 - 10:53 AM

I think Rubulator wins the fat bear contest  :chk: :chk:




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