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[Boomer part Second]

A note to our dear readers:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I am encountering come time constraints this week. This unfortunately requires me to cut some things back, and this is one of them. I won't leave you totally empty-handed though--here's four stories which, properly rationed, should get you through the rest of the week!

More irony at a gun safety class
The power of stupidity compels you! The power of stupidity compels you!
I think I'll just stick with Photoshopping myself to different places...
Another awesome heart attack on a plate

[Boomer part Second]

Week in review CLII

April showers bring Odd Box
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

Stole the copper. Left his wallet.
[Insert Star Wars reference here]
Nope, you're never too old to be an idiot
Punctuality is magic

Animal weirdness

Goldie and a bike

Yum!

Vegetable with a crude sense of humor

News of the "I'll be damned!"

When golfing in Florida, alligators are water hazards

And finally...

Huh, so MacBooks aren't urine-proof
So? What's the problem? Isn't that what men dream of?

[Boomer part Second]

We apologize in advance; it's been a bit of a slow news day.

From the dumb criminals file:

Looks like the underwear's on the other face...

From the dumb cops file:

To protect and serve and watch movies

Animal weirdness

Wait, there are squid-catching championships?
Octopus > seagull

The dangers of technology

Another injury fraud to be undone by Facebook?

And finally...

Drag queen bingo: be on the lookout for pictures from tomorrow's event
I'll bet your eye sockets aren't this strong

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

Dryers have settings for cotton, but is there one for people?
Boy, those are some ugly robbers
The county coroner is drunk at the scene of a crime...what do?
Hold on, that's not how you load a gun...
That didn't register as a good idea

From the dumb cops file:

Who's dancing now, deputy?

Animal weirdness

Hairstyle guide for alpacas
I'd like to see a cat do this...
You've probably seen the zebra boy and the lion already, but here it is anyway
Vicious swan goes bye-bye
Cat + Doritos bag + power pole = ?

D'oh!

You're being summoned to jury duty. All 1,200 of you.
Eternal Flame falls victim to gas bill

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Think you're safe from lightning in your house? Think again...

Today's world record:

Fastest motorized toilet

And finally...

Don't just stand there...fix it!

[Uncle Bill]

Why don't I check this thread more often, Dorito Bag Cat is a must see

[Boomer part Second]

Why don't I check this thread more often, Dorito Bag Cat is a must see

Yeah, why don't you check this more often? Make it an everyday habit!

From the dumb criminals file:

Because jail is the perfect place to visit while drunk
Driving while intoxicated...and with a monkey
They'll never expect copper thieves to strike the police building!
Only in Fergus Falls

Animal weirdness

Llamas with prosthetic legs? Believe it.
Have you seen these blue sheep?
Another reason why cats are jerks: they get into washing machines

The dangers of technology

Haven't you ever heard "this is my rifle, this is my gun"?

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Soldier dies while Skyping with his wife

[Boomer part Second]

Week in review CLII

Odd Box congratulates the winner of the Kentucky Derby: I'll Have Another
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

What, there isn't a naked drive-through at the federal building?
A different type of dirty dancing
Potentially deadly lesson: electricity isn't always our friend
In the idiot's defense, he didn't know he was trying to rob an ex-MMA fighter

From the dumb cops file:

How did he lose control? Depends...

Animal weirdness

Farting dinosaurs = global warming?
Swiss cow fighting? Believe it.
About a giraffe; also, why are all of the animal stories from the UK?

D'oh!

Freight train > 18-wheeler
To the students of Eastern Michigan University: you have all failed. Please leave.

You be the judge...

Bake sales: no longer worth the nutritional risk?
Truck testicles: yay or nay?

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Man jumps into vat of acid to save stricken coworker

And finally...

And the smuttiest city in the USA is...
On the plus side, his sex life is going to be legendary

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

Unicycling while naked. Need I say more?
Just wait for the cab next time, okay?
If you can steal everything before the bug poison kills you, you win
Funny money artist done in by counterfeit brain

Animal weirdness

When pit bulls aren't eating rabbits, they're saving people
RIP Prince Harry...the pygmy hippo
Don't call this eagle bad names...he'll cut you
In other news, nearby passengers were treated to barbecued squirrel

D'oh!

Teens learn a lesson in physics before prom
Who says that schools have to spell things properly?
Marriage lesson number one: the wife is always right

The dangers of technology

Some people cure diseases. These guys play with vinyl records. (I put it in "technology" because they're trying to be a YouTube sensation)

Variety hour

Okay doggie, grab a newspaper and follow my lead...
Cars don't grow on trees! Oh, wait...

And finally...

The new cutting edge of Japanese ingenuity: the ice bra

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

Captain Gilligan should have kept his trap shut
There are places to not joke about armed robbery; the police station is one of them
Cops take it personally when you impersonate them
Pitchforks and booze; this ought to be worth a chuckle
All that for deodorant and gift cards?

Animal weirdness

Bear story number one: Meet Tripawed the bear
Bear story number two: The conga line

D'oh!

It wouldn't be the first time a bad smell was detected in a legislature...
And as long as we're talking about smells...
Even Buddhist monks need to have fun once in a while

You be the judge...

Alien abductions: the real deal?
Update: bake sales can go on!

Today's world record

Biggest wave ridden, dude

And finally...

Because surgically implanting magnets in your wrist makes more sense than dealing with wristbands
Here, have this visual lesson in perspective

[Boomer part Second]

Week in review CLIII

It's Monday evening; do you know where your Odd Box is?
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

A candidate for Father of the Year
They say "stay in school" for a reason...
All-you-can-protest
Bad news: I broke down and got Facebook. Good news: I won't be doing what these guys did...

Animal weirdness

Donkeys: stubborn. Are they?

D'oh!

All that money, and a damn Lexus isn't amphibious?
Putting the apartments before the underground parking garage

Today's (potential) world record

Longest fist-pumping session

And finally...

"Subversive adult Disneyland"? Sounds like a winner to me!
Meet UFO Phil

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

I know why the caged idiot sings
Wait a minute, you're no damsel in distress!
This too shall pass...
The family that brawls together...
Road rage in Florida, so there
Another case of bounty hunters with the wrong address, but with a twist

Animal weirdness

Some bear had a necessity for 50 pounds of sunflower seeds

D'oh!

Does Chobani mean "yogurt on the highway" in Greek?
This is one of those times where we praise the existence of YouTube
The funniest pranks don't usually involve a *bang*
In other news, the people were introduced to the joys of barbecued fruit

You be the judge...

Selling soda: is it such a crime?
Birthday cake candles: harmless celebration or health and safety risk?

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Cutting your throat with a chainsaw: don't try it at home

And finally...

When they introduce Australia during the Olympics, be sure to change the channel
Because dancing teachers, that's why

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

Hey, I'm just walking around naked; is that a crime?
Wow, how did they know we stole this 460-pound church bell?
Ummmm...Basic Theft 101?
Alcohol, nudity, Florida

Animal weirdness

Baby snow leopards!
We will retry the duck barbecue next week

D'oh!

Who says economics is boring?

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Quick, a tree is about to crush your car while you're in it! What do you do?
First solo shift? Here, have an armed robbery!
You don't have tuberculosis. You're just lovesick.
"I was expecting like a football or something, but I saw a boat flying at me with its nose to the sky"

You be the judge...

Post-it notes: harmless prank or head-rolling offense?

And finally...

Don't kid yourself--you know there are men that want to go out like this
Eeyup. That's real Christian of you...

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

There are easier ways to fake home invasions, methinks
Gee whiz, how hard is it to text your illegal activities to the right number?

Animal weirdness

The great buffalo escape

D'oh!

I'm sure his girlfriend is taking this well
Politics is a dirty business

Space: it's really big

Excited about the upcoming eclipse? Get informed!

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Woman puts rocks in her pocket...and they catch fire
Tell me again why Arby's has a bad reputation?
Thank you for doing the responsible thing. Oh, and you're fired.

And finally...

Some people are dumb criminals; others provide inspiration, like this guy
Here, have a practical joke

[Boomer part Second]

Tiger talk

I happen to follow the goings-on at this place a little; I do hope things work out...

From the dumb criminals file:

Calling the cops because of stolen marijuana happens way too often...
There are better ways to score anonymous sex
I see your Big Mac and raise you a McBrick
Bumblebee Man unavailable for comment

Animal weirdness

Norman the Scooter Dog learns a new trick

Yum!

Because fake pigs' ears don't always do the trick
You are what you eat--this is the USA
Cupcake sausages? Believe it.

Politics at work

Dog and cat tax rolls over and plays dead

And finally...

The Dog Squad isn't quite as exotic as it sounds
Might I suggest more fiber in your diet?

[Boomer part Second]

Week in review CLIV

Yes, even Odd Box has to get over a case of the Mondays...
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

Ten-year-old, meet Mr. Fist
Watch out, she kicks like a mule!
Hey, burning couches anywhere is always allowed!

From the dumb cops file:

Now asking for volunteers for the iPhone task force

Animal weirdness

Monkey and a tongue

D'oh!

What else do you expect from the University of Texas?
Hey, I didn't know the pet store had a drive-through!
Nobody really wants to hear their 911 dispatcher snoring
More yearbook mistakes? This one's pretty big, though...

You be the judge...

Is she too hot to work at a lingerie shop?

And finally...

I dare you to tell me this man doesn't deserve a spot on Mount Rushmore

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

Brown can look at you while you're bathing
He couldn't hold his water or his mouth
Okay, McDonald's isn't that good...
Fahrenheit 451: the temperature at which idiots burn
How dare you cancel this valuable taco order!

Animal weirdness

Because dogs doing yoga, that's why

D'oh!

What weather? I make the weather!

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Dropping one dollar now will cost you 500 later
Japanese chef cooks his...chef parts...and serves them...to willing diners (PHOTOS AHEAD; YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)
File this under the "manure" section of "ways you don't want to die"

Today's (potential) world record:

Most beach balls thrown in the air simultaneously

And finally...

You know the bathroom is clean if it has two flies or fewer
Vicar decides to spread the word of the King. No, the other King.

[Boomer part Second]

Week in review CLV

Did you hear the shout-out the queen gave to Odd Box at the Diamond Jubilee?
Your week, in pictures

From the dumb criminals file:

Here's a ringing endorsement for indoor ventilation
Crime stinks
Yep, he'll totally marry you now...

Animal weirdness

Another reason why cats are jerks: they fly for eternity
Nature's lawnmowers
What, dogs aren't supposed to have bottles on their heads?

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Sunscreen will protect you from the sun, but not fire
Swarm of poisonous spiders overruns a town in India (this could also be "you be the judge: did it happen?")

And finally...

What could go wrong at a foam party?
Wait, what kind of marathon did I win?

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

The nut doesn't fall far from the Dollar Tree
How to bring a knife and a gun to a fight...and lose
Four idiots take a slow boat to jail
Here, have some mugshots
Well, we have proof on who's the better dumb criminal
Oh goody, something else from Florida!
Crime doesn't pay, but it definitely stinks

D'oh!

You break it, you buy it? Oh hell...
The I-beams have it

Space: it's really big

Behold the live stream of the Venus transit!
Other bits if information regarding the transit

Today's world record:

Longest time holding breath underwater

And finally...

Yep, the wife's about to go nuclear...

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

Here, have this contribution from the venerable Bullet! (no, he's not a dumb criminal, but he is a faithful contributor)
Is there a ceiling through which stupidity cannot pass?
Stolen motorized wheelchair and booze. This must end well.
Maybe a flaming bag of poop would have sufficed?
You don't need to tweet the President...celebs go free anyway

Animal weirdness

Flying goats or senior prank?

News of the "I'll be damned!"

Fire dancer gets a bit more than she bargained for...
Crematorium nearly burns down due to large corpse

Today's (potential) world record:

World's tallest flagpole

To our dear readers: We've gotta cut it short tonight due to circumstances beyond our control. We apologize for the inconvenience.

[Boomer part Second]

From the dumb criminals file:

The fake kidnapping was a good idea until...no, it was never a good idea
More for the mug shot than anything else

Animal weirdness

My little ponies
Even squirrels celebrated the Jubilee!

D'oh!

I don't remember completing a "progam..."
Guess what? Unicycling on the sidewalk isn't a crime after all!
Australian man: 1; Venus: 0
In his defense, it was a big cat...

Yum!

Good news: cannibalism can be addictive!

The dangers of technology

Behold the banana piano

News of the "I'll be damned!"

AHHHHHH! ZOMBIES!!!!!!1!
Man performs a...sausage-ectomy...on himself
I always knew those Canadians weren't as innocent as they seemed...

Today's world record:

World's oldest siblings

And finally...

Can you defeat this gurner at his own game?
Oh, *kaboom* won't you be *kaboom* my neighbor? *kaboom*